Friday, April 10, 2009

Good Friday

I am not able to make the service at Church today, for this I am sad, however, taking the quiet time at home has given me some time for quiet reflection in which I can venerate the Cross and all that it stands for in a special way this year.

I love the liturgy of Good Friday, but I will admit, I get caught up the in pageantry of it all. The smell of the incense, the visual beauty of watching the clergy and altar servers coming forward to the altar and prostrating themselves before the cross of Our Lord, the moving music. I can see it all in my mind, and yet, this year, I feel an even stronger desire to reflect at home.

4 years ago on Good Friday, I looked on as a very compassionate priest came to my mother's bedside and administered the rights of the dying to her. She was at such peace, as was I. I knew what was to come, yet there was no sadness. How could there be? As I watched her enter into her final steps from this life to her eternal one?

I miss her very much, still. I suppose I always will. She is with me because I carry her memory where ever I go. I keep her close to me as I face life's struggles. They are nothing in comparison to the physical struggles she endured just to stay with us one more day.

And then there is Christ. Crucifixion alone is said be one of the most painful paths to death, yet he took it. But that is not all he took. He took upon himself the very sins that I commit this day and every day yet to come. The weight of my sin on my soul is sometimes more than I can bear, yet, He was able to take all of mine, all of the world's sin, then be crucified. I know that His Divine nature allowed Him to be able to do this. Would I be so willing to do the same for Him, or for anyone else? I daily ask God to let certain cups pass me by. Occasionally, I will recall that Jesus also said, "if it be YOUR will". I need to recall that more often.

Instead of looking upon the challenges of life as burdensome, I am now beginning to understand the weight of my own cross and the joy that I can find in carrying it for Him and with Him.

As we here His final words, "It is finished", let us remember that Christ was not speaking of His own death, but rather, that the Will of God has been completed, and it was done so perfectly and out of Love for each one of us.

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