Thursday, November 10, 2005

A few new pictures






It seems that the days are just flying past me now. We waited so long for precious little man to arrive, and now, as much as I want to stop time and enjoy him just as he is for a very, very long time, the clock seems to be on overdrive! He is already 3 weeks old.

He gained a pound his first two weeks, and according to my scale at home, he has gained another 1.5 to 2 lbs. this week! He is quickly growing out of his newborn diapers and layette. NO FAIR! I want him to stay so little for much longer. Of course, 9 lbs of baby is not little to start with!

The kids are so great with him. Each has their own job. B helps with diapers and walking him around, M likes to put him to sleep, E helps with the baths and dressing, and J is the diaper fetching boy! His job is to bring the diaper basket to me when we change baby. He loves his job and will have an outright fit if someone else tries to do the job for him.

All of the above is an excellent exercise for me. Letting go of the "Contol" that I so desperately want to hang onto. I have to make myself relinquish control to the kids so that they can bond with him to. Poor DH, I don't give him enough time with the baby either. Of course, I'd love all that extra help on the 2 am- 4 am shift! Where are they then??? Oh well, I must admit, having the dark, quiet, still house all to ourselves is pretty neat. We just admire one another and fall deeper in love...

Battling the blues has been my biggest challenge the last week or so. I've never really experienced this before. I feel like I am coming out of the funk a bit today and yesterday, but I am still not back to my usual self.

I am coming to realize a few things about myself that I suppose I knew before, but finally recognize that I need to either change or accept, whichever is applicable. I am a control freak. I said it. I hate it. But it is true. Knowing this, I have to make a decision sometimes hourly to allow others to do things THEIR way sometimes. Boy, that is an eye opener for me.

Next, I am very, very, very hard on myself. In turn, this is how I judge others. I expect that I should live up to a certain standard, and I hold the bar just as high for my family members. Totally unfair, but true. I know that there must be a positive aspect to this trait, and I am determined to find it! But in the meantime, I do need to assimilate a more gentle list of expectations on myself and those closest to me.

Now, has anyone seen that ridiculous infomercial that comes on late at night regarding "elmination habits"? Don't even get me started....

2 comments:

Dirt Runner said...

He is getting bigger. Maybe you should just have another one. Try to keep up with the family in Arkanas. 16 and counting!

K said...

16!! I don't have that many organs lined up to fail with 10 more pregnancies!! LOL

but, hey, you guys have 15 to go...